Jokes
| Teacher:Tintu what is the full form of class? Tintumon:C-Come L-Late A-And S-Start S-Sleeping |
| Worlds shortest jokes: 1) 2 Women r sitting quiet. 2) 2 cracks r playing chess. 3) GirlFriend pays the bill... |
| Docter to tintumon:u will die within 2 hours.Do u want to see any one before u die? Tintumon:Yes,A GOOD DOCTER |
| Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... So, Kindly tell them ur age plz...... |
| Interviwer: Tell any idea to aviod train accidents crack: To put speed brakers on the track |
| News:32 girls r admitted in KIMS Hospital 4 suiside attempt. Reason:tin2`s mobile was swich off yesterday !silly girls:-) |
| Tintu was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open.... WHY?? Because his doctor advised him: Today`s dinner should be light... |
| When u born..the clouds were parted.. Sun shined N God appeared infront of all people N said.."SORRY FOR THE MISTAKE" "KINDLY ADJUST" |
| My Attitude :- A Girl proposed to me. And I said: ! ! "Sorry, I won`t accept your proposal, But I apprecate your selection..."! |
| Teacher asked: Which is your favorite planet Dundumol said: Jupiter Minimol said: Saturn Tintumon said: 'Animal planet' |
| What`s the loudest noise in the jungle? A Monkey eating cherries. |
| When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. |
| When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why. |
| When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I`m a lady and I play with boys!! |
| When I was young, I just wanted a BMW. Now that I`m older, I don`t need the W. |
| When in life, you wake up n you don`t see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to an eye specialist! |
| When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails. |
| Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon? He took them to a pignic. |
| why are footballers never invited to dinner? answer: because they are always dribbling. |
| Why are men like commercials? You can`t believe a word they say. |
| Why couldn`t the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged. |
| Why do bosses prefer round table conferences? So that no1 can corner them. |
| Why do elephants never forget? Because nobody ever tells them anything |
| Why do elephants paint thier testicles red? So they can hide in cherry trees. |
| Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went it would be hell |
| Why do women hate alcohol so much? "Because after drinking it, their mouse like husbands become lions!" |
| Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the stove. |
| Why does a stupid blond woman sneak past the pharmacy? ................. She does not want to wake the sleeping tablets! |
| Why does an elephant have four feet? Because it would look silly with six inches. |
| Why does history keep repeating it self? Because we weren`t listening the first time! |
| Why don`t aliens eat clowns. Because they taste funny. |
| Why is Hillary upset? Because she may have been the FIRST LADY, but she won`t be the LAST! |
| Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? You can park in the handicapped spots. |
| Why were the teacher`s eyes crossed? She couldn`t control her pupils. |
| Why won`t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy. |
| Wife: Why are you home so early? Husband: My boss told me to go to hell. |
| Wife:Yester-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes! Husband: Yeah, I saw ur dad paying the bill !!! |
| Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind! |
| Written on the front side of a Girl`s T shirt: "I am a Virgin " ... On the back "This is an Old T shirt "..! |
| Yesterday night I lay on my bed looking at the stars, then I wondered... Hey, where on earth IS MY ROOF! |
| You asked me who I liked and I said no one... but what I really meant was no one but you. |
| You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, and you will learn a lot today. |
| You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. |
| You look so good you could be on Telivision. You`re already blurred. |
| You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. |
| You so skinny, you turned sideways and disappeared. |
| You wanna come to my place for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don`t you like pizza?! |
| You`re like a shining star in the cold dark nite, you lead me, you guide me, you makes everything seems so rite... |
| Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep! |
| Your kid may be an honors student, but you`re still an idiot. |
| Your mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it. |
| A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, But a Girl can make him Stupid in 2 minutes. |
| Be a friend with at least one person at ur University, Who bring His/Her own transport Otherwise u will be stuck at your campus for good. |
| One Crack love with a nurse. HE writes love letter. He writes,"I Love you Sister". |
| An exact Definition OF Mathematics: Mathematics is study of finding a black CAT in a dark room... When there is no CAT actually.. |
| Those seductive eyes Those kissable lips Dat sexy smile Saucy ass Da perfect tlk Enough abt me hw r u? |
| Do u know that ur smile takes 1000 people to death? Save the world... so plz start teeth brushing regularly |
| Count S in SIHT SI WOH OT EKAM A DIPUTS YSUB (hint- it should be 5) Read caps word reversely. |
| If U r in 10sion, If nothing seems rght, If u fnd no way out, Thn jst thnk of me only once, I will be always there 2 INCREASE ur 10sions |
| Teacher: Tell Ur Dad`s Fullname In English. Boy: Its Mr.FLIE GO Teacher: R U Tryng 2 B Funny? Boy: No, His Name In Hindi Is Makkhi JA |
| Crack and his wife going to city in auto. Driver adjusted miror. Crack shouted you are seeing my wife. Go N sit back. I will drive auto |
| Teacher:What is difference between Orange and Apple Crack:The color of Orange is Orange and the Color of Apple is not apple.. |
| A guy prints N pastes his prayers on d wall N at bedtime he points at dem N says: "Lord pls read dem, m feeling sleepy." |
| HEIGHT OF STATUS: Lady goes 2 a fruit shop.. Shopkeeper: Ur dog is eating my fruits Lady: Shona, dont eat d fruits without washing them |
| During Xam a studnt who did`nt prepare, Left d page blank and Wrote at d bottom, "Dedicated 2my MEMORY, WHich recently passed away" |
| Worlds Best Feeling Comes When We C a Wonderful Question Paper In d exam Hall N We Smile At Each Other Saying- DUDE, Dis 1 also gone! |
| Techr:Write an essay on"If I Wer a Millionaire" Evry1 startd writng bt nt 1boy Tchr:Y dnt u begin? B:Waitng 4my secretary Dats attitude |
| The height of "Bad Luck" :- A boy and girl meet last time, 4 their break up girl`s father caught them Now they r married couple. |
| TCHER:Lst year u were in luv with tht grl N ths year u r in luv wit other 1. Wht do u thnk of urslf? Student:SYLLABUS has been changed |
| Jack: R u pregnant? Girl: Not at all.! Jack: Then why whenever I send u a sms, ur delivery report comes |
| I am Deleting Ur No. 4m My Phone Bcoz I Always Send U Msgs But U Never Replied.. So Good Bye! A Crack Send This Msg 2 Customer Care. |
| A new poster outside every BANKS for the year 2015 . . . . . Petrol N Diesel loans available here!! |
| 3 Fastest means of communication.. 1 : Tele-Phone.. 2 : Tele-Vision.. 3 : Tell-a-women.. Need still faster??? Tell her not 2 tell any1. |
| Galileo:great mind. Einstein:genius mind. Newton:extraordinary mind. You:always in my mind. |
| You R the one who is CHARMING, U R the one who is INTELLIGENT, U R the one who is CUTE, and I am the One who is spreading these RUMORS. |
| Girl: Will you love me after marriage also? Boy: This depends on your husband, if he allows me |
| My nights are going sleepless, my days are going useless. So I asked GOD, "is this love?". GOD replied, "no dear, result is near". |
| My heart problem has reached such a critical stage that doctor says there are only two options left: Either I C U or U C Me! |
| Call, if i m cute... Miss call, if i m gorgeous Text back if i m pretty Text a joke if i m charming Just ignore if u r jealous |
| Boy: I am nt rich like rahul, I don`t even have a bid car like rahul. Bt I really love u! Girl: I love u too, but tell me more about rahul. |
| Prospective husband : Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'? Sales girl : The fiction department is on the other side, sir |
| Why God Create U Before Me? Want To Know? Because He Wanted To Create A Sample Before Creating A Master Piece... |
| Lady Secretary:Sir, it`s ur wife`s call. She wants 2 kiss u on the phone. Boss:I am busy. u may take the message N pass it on 2 me later. |
| Do you know the full form of COLLEGE: C-Come, O-On, L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each, G-Girl, E-Equally...... Thats why boys go to college |
| The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass N flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful Why doesn`t it rain on you? |
| Young Girl Praying - Please God Marry Me With Intelligent Man. God Replied - Thats Impossible, Because Intelligent Men Don`t Get Married. |
| Those beautiful eyes, That incredible body, Such a brain, Nice Smile....... But that is enough about me, tell me how you are? |
| Definition of a nurse: Nurse is a beautiful dashing girl holding ur hand looking in ur eyes and still wants ur pulse will be normal. |
| Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. |
| If you need friend call me. If you need a help approach me. If you money.. "SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED". |
| A:I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes. B:Amazing,I got divorce for the same reason. |
| Husband:Today is Sunday n I have to enjoy it.So i bought 3 movie tickets.Wife: why three?Husband:for u and your parents. |
| when things go rong,when tears flow 4rm ur eyes, wen sadness fills ur heart,plz inform me-coz my frnd sells tissues BUY ONE GET ONE FREE. |
| Boy:I sent love letters to my girlfriend everyday for 3years. Friend:Then what happened? Boy:Nothing finally She married the postman. |
| A kid gets zero in a paper Father angrily asks Whats this? Kid:Teacher didn't have more stars to give so she started giving MOONS. |
| Best thought of life: Be talented in front of everyone. But always be a fool in front of dear ones. |
| wonar to servant: Go and water the plants. Servant:It's raining. wonar:So what take an umbrella and go. |
| DAD:dear son,why your sister sitting so silent SON:Nothing dad sister asked lipstik, but i gave fevistik. No chip chip no chik chik |
| New Economic Analysis Its better to have a Long distance Relationship Because, S.T.D. rates are much Lower than Fuel Rates |
| Teacher:How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day? student:I get up early. |
| There only one difference between dream n aim. Dream requires Soundless sleep to see where as Aim Requires Sleepless Efforts 2 Achieve. |
| Why we have so many temples if God is everywhere? Air is every where but we need a fan to feel it. Think about it. |
| Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS: 1 Too Many Questions. 2 Difficult to Understand. 3 More Explanation is Needed. 4 Result is always FAIL. |
| A Smile costs less than Electricity.. But Gives more light.. So Always Keep Smiling n Prove that you are the Best Tube Light. |
| Life is like a MOVIE.. If u r sad-DRAMA, If u r afraid-SUSPENSE, If u r angry-ACTION, When u look at the mirror-HORROR. |
| DAD:dear son,why your sister sitting so silent, SON:Nothing dad sister asked lipstick,but i gave fevistick.No chip chip..no chik chik. |
| You are the most SENTIMENTAL friend of mine: One percent SENTI Ninety Nine Percent MENTAL. |
| You are so cute my dear friend: C-Causing. U-Unnecessary. T-Trouble. E-Everywhere. |
| What's the difference between stupid and idiot? Stupid will delete this joke. Idiot will forward this joke. Ha ha,what will you do now? |
| Urgent:Chloroform is out of stock in the hospital. Can you please send a pair of your socks? |
| Examiner:What is Microsoft Excel student:It is a new brand of Surf Excel to clean the computer. |
| What a woman wants is what you are out of. She wants more of a thing when it is scarce. |
| Appu: I want you to explain why I have to wear these same old clothes. Pappu: Bcoz if u don`t, you could scare the dog. |
| Banta: What is the best way to see flying saucers? Santa: Pinch the waitress. |
| Appu: Do you know that it is not fall that kills you, it is the sudden stop at the end. |
| Pappu: When is it unlucky to see a black cat? . . . . . . . Appu: When you are a mouse. |
| Bunny (to receptionist of hotel): Can you give me a room and a bath? Receptionist: I can gve u a room, but u vl hav 2 hav bath urself. |
| Whats d difference between ppl who pray in Temples and ppl who pray in Exam Centres? Those in d exam centres r damn serious. |
| All of our politicians play KBC in reverse manner. They make crores and crores first and then answer the questions later. |
| Appu: I have been trying to think of a word for two weeks. Pappu: Its a fortnight. |
| Appu: How is your wife? Pappu: Good for nothing. |
| Every man should have a wife - preferably his own! |
| By the time a man really does understand woman, his wife wont let him out of the house at night. |
| Good resolutions are like college girls. Easy to make, but hard to break. |
| Appu: I would like some crocodile shoes please. Pappu: Certainly, Sir! What size shoe does your crocodile wear? |
| He: What you prefer in a man - wealth, position, character or appearance? She: Appearance and the sooner the better. |
| Crazy fact of today's generation. Once upon a time, girls used to cook like their mothers. But now they drink like their fathers. |
| Pappu: Have you noticed that most heroes are married man? Appu: Every married man is a hero. |
| Her telephone is a private number - every private has it. |
| On a sign board in New Delhi: Wear a helmet or you may have a hell mate. |
| Appu: How do you know when you are getting old? Pappu: When the candles cost more than the cake. |
| Tomorrow all schools, colleges, and office will be holiday. Just inform to all.... . . . Reason: rozy miss ka kutta mar gaya...! Aaoo |
| ta ta ta ta ta ta ta TA ta ta ta ta ta ta . Wat is d moral of this Line....???? . . . . Anek "ta" me ek "TA" |
| Unbeatable Truth- V realize tat value of life. Increases 1ly after its lost. Ex: A live chicken 75 Rs n Tandoori Chicken 180 Rs. |
| A woman kidnapped. The kidnapper sent a piece of her finger to her husband and demanded money. Husband replied : I want more proof. |
| Doctor: Mrs. Nandini gud news 4 u. Nandini: wat do u mean by mrs. Nandini? I am miss Nandini. Doctor: O!! Sorry Miss Nandini,Bad News 4 u. |
| Boyfren: I like ur 'teeth' Gal: Oh really.. Why? Boyfren: bcos'yellow' is my favorite color Moral:- "Love Is Blind" |
| 8 Semesters 80 GB sylabus 80 MB v study 80 KB v remember 80 Bytes v ans. BINARY Marks v get, known as BTech (Brain Technically Empty) |
| A silent night, a star above, a blessed gift of hope and love. A blessed Christmas to you! |
| Most people have 5 senses. Some people have 6 senses. But u r blessed with 7 senses. An extra sense is NON SENSE. |
| Appu-Oye!wat R U doing? Pappu-Recording babys voice. Appu-y? Pappu- When he grows up,I shal ask him wat he meant by dis? |
| X: Do you think a genius ever makes a good husband? Y: You should better ask my wife. |
| Husband: I had a 5ne dream last night.I dreamed I was touring world in a fine car. WIfe:S,I heard Engine snorting. |
| Teacher: What is Half of 8? Pappu: 0 if divided horizontally and 3 if done vertically. |
| Appu: How much of ur salary do u tak home 2 ur wife on pay day? Pappu: None. Appu: Hows dat? Pappu: She meets outside d ofce n taks!! |
| One of the Best Msgs that I have Received... Life is beautiful Terms n Conditions of Wife apply. |
| A couple planned to commit suicide together. But once the wife killed herself,he changed his mind as things suddenly looked more positive. |
| Appu: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: How? Appu: U said dis is America made Radio.But wen I put it on, it says All India Radio. |
| As promised to Obama,India is giving jobs to Americans... Pamela Anderson is the first recruitment |
| Appu: What was the real reason of your divorce? Pappu: Our marriage. |
| Journalist: Tel me Major,did u ever fall in2 hands of enemy in any of ur engagements? Major: Oh, yes,but I escaped wen I got a divorce. |
| Why do Indian women pray 2 God 4 same husband in next life? 2 ensure the efforts taken 2 train him in dis life,do not go in vain! |
| He : Darling, if you marry me, I will satisfy your smallest wishes. She : And what about the big wishes. |
| Wife: Dear,dont u think I hav put 2 much salt in Soup? Husband: Not at all,darling.There is perhaps not quite enough soup 4 salt |
| Woman: When my husband left me,he said: He was going to join the army for a Little peace. |
| Crack: It is sickening way, my wife keeps talking abt her Ex-Husband. Jack: Tats nothng. Mine keeps talking abt her next husband. |
| Appu : I am the 4th husband of my Wife. Pappu : You are not a husband but a habit. |
| A widow wrote on the tombstone of her husband. . . . . . . . Rest in peace - Till We Meet Again. |
| Wife: I hav read in newspaper dat widows mak d best wives. Husband: May b! Bt u cant xpect me 2 kil myself dat u can b gud wife 2 sum1. |
| Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs. This is only sentence tat has all 26 alphabets of English. Be proud 2 b a Drinker. |
| Appu: What is the best way to see flying saucers? Pappu: Pinch the waitress. |
| Teacher: In this exam,you will be allowed 10 mins for each question. Pappu: And how long for each Answer? |
| Pappu: Excuse me,but I dont think I deserve a mark of "0" for dis Exam Paper. Teacher: Neither do I,but it is lowest mark I can give ?? |
| Boy: Did you know that the most intelligent kid in our class is deaf? Girl: That is unfortunate. Boy: What did you say? |
| Crack: When is it unlucky to see a black cat? Jack: When you are a mouse. |
| Appu : What is the difference between a nail and a boxer? Pappu : One gets knocked in the other gets knocked out. |
| Appu: Would you like me to help you with your homework. Pappu: No thanks, I can get it wrong by myself. |
| What's d difference between people who pray in Temples and people who pray in d Exam Centres? Those in d exam centres are damn serious. |
| All of our politicians play KBC in reverse manner. They make crores and crores first and then answer the questions later... |
| I want to share Everything with u. ur JOYS, ur SADNESS, ur HAPPY MOMENTS Every single 2nd of day Let us START with ur ATM Password 1st. |
| There is a saying: If u want to be great,You must walk with great people.Seriously I have no objection u can walk with me. |
| A Girl Asks Her Mom:I Want Some Fresh Air, Can I Go For a Walk? mom: Alright,But Ask your Fresh Air to Drop you Home By 10 P.M |
| Who is the Leader of Ducks? Ans. Frog Why? Because Frog is MAINDUCK. |
| I will be a reason for your happiness and not be a part of it n I will be a part of your sadness and not a reason for it. |
| Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? U stop imagining. |
| Two muffins are in the oven. One says to the other God its hot in here The other one replies Oh no.Its a talking muffin |
| Girl:plz Do not follow me,Bcaz My Mother Is Coming Behind u, Boy:Do not u Worry at all,bcaz my Father Is following her |
| A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road, He Said: Look Mom look,that boy n girl r Fighting For A Chewing GUM. |
| Girl: Can I hold your hand? Boy: No Girl: Why? Boy: because it will hurt too much when you let it go. |
| If you wait to be happy, you will wait forever However if you start to be happy,you will be happy forever Start Smiling and keep happy. |
| The height of mixed emotion? ur motherin law falls 4rm the 7th floor on ur brand new ferrari n u dunt knw whether 2 laugh or cry |
| My Girlfriend Suggested A Book For Me To Read To Enhance Our Relationship Its Entitled: Women Are From Venus,Men Are Wrong |
| Dream makes everything possible,Hope makes everything work,Love makes everything beautiful,Smile makes all d above So always Brush ur Teeth. |
| Do you Like me as I am?? Or do I haVe to Request GOD to impRove your taste ?? |
| Wife said :I will die Hus replied:I will also die Wife again:why will u die? Husband said:bcaz i cant bear the excitement when u die. |
| Q:What did the gangster son tell dad when he failed his examination? A:Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything |
| Engineering student 2 sweeper brother:I have got degree,I can sit in society.Wt do u have? Sweeper:I have the job. |
| Every Indian women is RANI KAXMI BAI in her life. RANI.Before marriage. LAXMI.After marriage. BAI.After children. |
| Which are the 2 latest versions of java. Think think think Marjava and Mitjava |
| A funny life cycle, COCKROACH is afraid of RAT. RAT of CAT. CAT of DOG. DOG of MAN. MAN of his GIRLFRND n GIRLFRND OF COCKROACH. |
| Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls? Both dont exist. |
| Boy:I am not rich like rohit,I dont even have a bid car like rohit.But I really love you Girl:I love u too,but tell me more about rohit |
| Can v do romance in the evening today? IAm in a good mood Just a little bit of kissing n biting reply me soon urs lovingly MOSQUITO |
| Teacher:Who is Ur Favorite Writer? Student:Ur Daughter. Every Week She Give Me a Nice Love Letter |
| Q.Who is the laziest person in the world? Ans:The one who invented the SNOOZE option in alarm. |
| The Most Dangerous Position In Which To Sleep Is With Your Feet On Your Office Desk |
| X opened a college, what will be the name of that college? guess X Medical College of Engineering for Arts,Science n Commerce |
| When a man s n trouble,famly frmnds Stand by his side wit smiling face. The Best Example is The Marriage Album |
| TEACHER: Which book has helped you most in your life? STUDENT: My fathers Cheque Book |
| Son:Papa whats the difference between mother tears and wife tears? Father:Mother tears hit ur heart n wife tears hit your pocket. |
| A recently fired stock trader said This is worse than divorce .I have lost everything n I still have my wife |
| Wt is Talent n wt is Intelligence ? Walking on a tight r0pe over Niagra Falls is Talent. n0t Trying such a thing is called Intelligence |
| A Highly Successful Flirter Was Once Asked: Which One is Your Best Girlfriend? He Replied: The Next One. |
| Q:Whats the difference between magnets and women. Ans: magnets have a positive side |
| Whats the difference between Our Government and Mafia? At least one of them is organized |
| Boy to Gym coach: I wanna impress dis cute girl m gonna meet in 3 days which machine should I use? Coach:Use ATM machine |
| There are two words in your life that will open many doors for you. PUSH and PULLL |
| The probability of a topic coming in exam increases exponentially, if one decides to leave the topic completely |
| Doctor 2 Lady: u r looking so weak n exhausted r u properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised Lady: Oh my God I hear 3 males per day |
| Year 2020 Son to Dad:how did u meet Mom. Dad:Ah my Son It all started with a request, add as a friend on facebook. |
| How To Convert The Most Interesting Song Of Urs As A Damn Irritating Song? Just Set It As Ur Alarm Tone |
| Cool th0ught by StuDent, I LuV FaCeBoOk buT HaTe tO FaCe mY bOoK |
| A Nursery student explaining love LOVE is like SUSU in da PENT, Otherz can only see it, But only u can feel it Spreading slowly all over |
| Boys Rules For BIKES USE When Its NEW RIDE When It PERFORMS THROW When Makes NOISE Unfortunately Thats The GIRLS Rule 2 Handle BOY |
| Tea:Tel me 3Tenses with Example Boy:I Saw ur Daughter Yesterday Past We are in Love Now (Present) We Will Run Away Tomorw (Future) |
| from Signboard on electric Boxes Danger,10000 volts,TOUCHING dis will lead to DEATH Any1 found Touching will b jailed for 3 yrs |
| truly Nog veg msg is. Chickens Egg Mottun Buffalo meat Fish that is all non veg |
| Wt is Swarg? usa Salary,German car,Chinese Food n India Wife. What is Nark? usa Wife, German Food, Chinese Car n Indian Salary |
| u r one of the most CUTE persons in the world. Just a second, Dont misunderstand. CUTE means: Creating Useless Troubles Everywhere |
| IIT Exam boy got 1 question Prove Sinx=6n boy cancelled N from both d sides. Then six=6 |
| Braindetector activated,calibrating,now searching.still searching.get a good grip of your mobile.still searching.no brains found. |
| Two snakes meet each other First snake:I hope I am not poisonous. Second snake:Why? First snake:Because I bit my lip. |
| Maths Magic: Multiply 259 xur agex 39. U wil get an intresting answer Try it really. it is very intresting |
| What iS The OppisiTe Of Nokia? Any Guess NoT To WorrY ans: yeskia |
| What will Microsoft name its new software related to cricketer.. ms dhoni |
| Who walks with us through the difficult path of life? Mom dad? No Husband Wife ? No Friends ? No what? foot wear |
| Fill these blanks with s or No 1.__ I dont have a brain. 2.__ I dont sense. 3. __ I am stupid. 4.__ I am not a human. Try to fill. |
| Which is the oldest Animal in the World? Give up? Well its, Zebra Because it is still Black and White and not in Color |
| you are going through HELL then Then? Then?Then? Keep going. |
| Alcohol contains female PROOF after drnkng 1.male talk unnecessarily, 2.become over emotional 3.drive badly 4.Fight 4 nothing |
| The Best Definition Of WORK A Place Where Officially ADULTS Go And Behave Like CHILDREN. |
| Boss:Iam giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs2000,isit ok? X:u r great sir Starting salary is ok but, How much is DRIVING salary |
| Amazing News, The Japanese Have produced a camera.That has such a fast shutter speed, It can take a picture Of a Woman With Her mouth shut |
| man needs a, Beautiful wife, Intelligent wife, Loving wife, Adjusting wife, n cooperative wife But its sad that law allows only 1 wife |
| Consequences in America, A girl rushed over to her husband.. Darling, My children and your children are beating our children. |
| Do you know the full form of COLLEGE C.Come, O.On, L.Lets, L.Love, E.Each, G.Girl, E.Equally Thats why boys go to college |
| Devils challenged angels 2 a game of cricket. We have all the cricketers, Said the angels Devils:no problem v have all the umpires |
| The Law Says If U Cant Convince Them Then Atleast Confuse Them Do U Know Which Law It Is? Dis Is Law Of Answering In Examination |
| I am not scared of Proposing a girl, But I am scared about. What would happen If She agrees |
| Boss n Secretary went 2 a hotel. Boss asked, Do u want me 2 treat u as a secretary or wife? She said,as a wife Boss:OK then,Gud nite |
| dis cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat busy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAYING CAT. |
| Doctor: You are in good health.You ll live to be eighty. Patient: But, Doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, What did I tell you. |
| I Looked For You Up Down Left Right Here There Everywhere Just To spray MORTEIN |
| I am a killer, I kill people for money, But you are my friend, I KILL YOU FOR FREE |
| Its to hard to lose someone who is 100% loving 98% friendly 95% cute 93% sweet 90% talented only, Thats me. |
| old man asked wife. Do u feel sad when u c me running behind young girls? Wife:No not at all, Even dogs chase cars but they cant drive it |
| If you really want to know the meaning of life? Then Then Look in the Dictionary . |
| I always give 100% Attendance in college: Monday: 11% Tuesday: 26% Wednesday: 49% Thursday: 10% Friday: 4% |
| G .Ghost I .In R .Real L .Life So Avoid Girls n Forward their numbers to me Dont worry about my life I am a professional GHOST RIDER |
| I Love u I like u I miss u I talk u All these r examples of PRESENT INDEFINITE 2morrow v will study PRESENT CONTINUOUS |
| Teacher:because of Quaid E Azam hard work, What do we get on 14th August? Students : A Holiday |
| GALILO:Great mind EINSTEIN:Genious mind NEWTON:Extraordinary mind BILL GATES:Brilliant mind Me:Master mind u:Oh Never mind |
| Commerce professor asks the student: What is the most important source of finance for starting business? Student:Father in law. |
| 5 benefit of kiss 1.Changes taste 2.Burn calories 3.Lips never got dried 4.Makes face muscles strong 5.RELIEVES STRESS So keep kissing |
| I wish u were herein my room, On my bed with the lights off We go under the blanket n i will show u myn New watch it glows n the dark |
| Gal:Do u have any sentimental love cards? Shopkeeper:How about dis card, It says To the only boy I ever loved Gal:Great I want 10 of them |
| Hi i am marrying next week. There will b a small party n only a few people will b invited Dont bring any gift Just bring some1 2 marry me |
| I want you to be with me in a nice restaurant, To have Candle Light Dinner, And say those three sweet words to you Pay The Bill. |
| Wif: whenever v keep the money in bags our son steals it, I dont know what 2 do, Hus:keep it in his books.I know he will never touch them |
| EXAMS r like GIRLFRIENDS: 1.Too many questions. 2.Difficult 2 understand. 3.Too much explanation is needed. 4.Result is always Fail |
| I love three things 1. Pepsi, 2. Pizza, 3. You, Pepsi to drink Pizza to eat Table kon saaf kre ga |
| If i disturb you I am sorry, But i need To say I... I love. Disturbing you |
| A mobile is like a woman Talks nonstop, costs a fortune, Disturbs when you are busy and when you need it. Urgently there is no service |
| Pathan committing suicide, someone asked the reason. He said:My wife runaway with my friend. I cant live without my friend. |
| I see your face when I am dreaming That is why I always wake up screaming |
| My love you take my breath away What have you stepped in to smell this way |
| My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe go to hell. |
| A recent survey showed why men like blow jobs, 10% like the feeling, 12% like the dominance,and 78% like the 8 minutes silence |
| Lecturer:Children in the dark make mistakes. convert this sentence to its opposite form Student:Mistakes in the dark make children. |
| Lady:So,u want to become my son in law? Boy:Not really, But I dont see any other way to marry your daughter |
| Top 3 colleges rule: 1:Be quite in the class because others are sleeping 2:Books it works as pillow 3:keep the campus clean so be absent |
| A girl called me the other day and said, Come on over, there is nobody home.You will have fun. I went over and Nobody was home. |
| In cricket match 1 girl made pakistani flag on her cheeks. A boy kissed her cheeks and said, . . . . . I LOVE PAKISTAN. |
| MY PRINCIPLE OF LIFE, If someone throws a stone at you,through a flower at him BUT, Make sure the flower is still in the pot, |
| PAPPU:Daddy,have you ever been to Egypt? FATHER:No.Why do you ask that? PAPPU:Well,where did you get THIS mummy then? |
| Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak |
| 80% of the final exam will be based on the 1 lecture u missed and the 1 book u didn't read. |
| Men r like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest |
| I look at the stars and I see u, I look at the moon and I see u, I look at the trees and I see u, Please step aside, you r blocking my view |
| Close ur eyes.think abt ur self.ur face..ur style..ur nature..ur smile.. and ur looks..Now Open ur eves.. Horror movie has ended. |
| Study=dnt fail dnt study=fail adding above equ Study+dnt study=fail+dnt fail study(1+dnt)=fail(1+dnt) study=fail |
| ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction. |
| X: Can U swim? Y: No X: Dog is Better den u bcz It Swims Y: Can u swim? X: Yes Y: then whats the Difference between u n Dog. |
| I ll tell u l8r Wot did t baby digital clock say to his mother? Look ma, no hands. |
| Why were males created before females? Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy |
| How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? We dont know never happens. |
| Think well, Plan well, Do well, Sleep well, Play well, Laugh well and Throw your mobile also in 2 well, Because u r not Messaging Well! |
| What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home. |
| Why dont men often show their true feelings? ans:Because they dont have anyone |
| Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell.she is got a hand grenade in her mouth. |
0 comments:
Post a Comment